What Outrages Conservatives?

Let me count the ways conservatives get outraged and compare them to what outrages liberals.
Take language. Conservatives rail about the degeneration of language at the hands of …… substitute for the youth of today and groups conservatives might look down on: advertisers, Hollywood, the internet, politicians, liberal pastors, MTV, Blacks, athletes, school teachers these days, and on and on. Conservatives posit not only a golden age when English was spoken properly but also a set of golden tablets on which are written the rules of English, there for the elect to read and follow. One wag stated he was glad he was born before the linguists came along and so learned to speak English properly rather than the anything goes approach to language of the linguists.
What else?
The justice system. The push for conservative judges falls under this rubric because it is the liberal judges, conservatives believe, who let off all these criminals on technicalities and pleas of insanity. If the police arrest you, there is a reason for it and to let you retain your freedom is a threat to decent people.
Speaking of decent people, the lapse in morality strikes conservatives especially hard. It is not that their people aren’t found in bed with dead girls and live boys, or aren’t out screwing their mistresses when they are supposed to be out hiking. It is just that they try to hide it and lie about it, then when found out, feel real bad and repent, while liberals flaunt their sin and immorality. As Rick Santorum said, there is no telling where the immorality extends to when birth control is used. (pondering that one could be an industry)
OK, let’s see. The attack on religion ranks high on the conservatives’ list. Evidence: the fact that many people do not profess Christianity. The mere fact of not being a Christian is evidence of immorality. You cannot be moral unless you are not just a Christian but a bible-believing Christian washed in the blood of the lamb (chicken and ox blood don’t count). When Pastor Billy Bob is found to be taking the money you send him to pray your cancer away and putting it into elaborate vacations for himself and his mistress (tickets to Argentina ain’t cheap), he ups his viewership on TV by holding a genuine repentence ceremony in which he blubbers and tries to keep his eyes from wandering over to that new girl in the celestial choir. Meanwhile, liberals explore pagan, godless religions from who knows where and even pride themselves on knowing what to say to those heathens on their disgusting holidays. Id Mubarak my ass. What’s wrong with good old Merry Christmas?
Speaking of foreign phrases, how about some of these liberals leave off studying other nations’ languages and pass some laws making these immigrants learn ours. It’s bad enough they are here but now we real Americans have to press 1 to get our own language. We conservatives are asking, how long before our kids will have to know Spanish to get a job?

Speaking of which, I just read on Best of NPR about an incident three years ago where a woman wearing a hijab was in an Applebees speaking to a friend in Swahili. Another woman approached her and demanded she speak English and then hit her in the face with a beer mug. That was so not nice that she went to jail for it and during the trial her sister spoke against her sister’s actions. The whole family turned on her and she in turn reached out to the Somali woman and they became close and recently update NPR via Story Corps. Some of her family respect her apparently for her firm stand. Wanna bet they’re all Trumpers?


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